Let me start by saying this is going to piss you off! I don’t care. This is the truth and if you have half a brain you would agree. Ladies and gentlemen drugs and parties are a great way to get laid, willing or not.
It seems like some sort of miracle if you call up a business and a person picks up. Usually it’s some sort automated mind game; a stress test if you will. To see just how pissed off you can really get. Almost every automated phone system is different from the next. As if dealing with the boiler room butt holes you are trying to reach isn’t going to be hell in itself. Figuring out how to speak to one is half the battle.
This is a very quick and simple lesson:
You don’t need to use your turn signal in a parking lot to indicate which space you’re going to park in (that’s unnecessary) but if you decide to do it anyway (and make yourself look like a total retard in the process) please don’t just sit there for like 30 seconds before actually parking.
Especially when there are people behind you (specifically me), and especially when THERE AREN’T ANY OTHER CARS COMING - YOU IDIOT.
Well, excuuuuuuuse ME!! I thought the road belonged to all those other wreckless assholes! What’s that you say? Seventy-five’s not fast enough for you in rush hour? Well by all means go right on the fuck around me. Far be it from me to hold you and your death wish for everyone on the highway back. Hey! Pick it up a little and you can probably catch that super-Civic that just went whizzin’ by. Maybe, if you hurry, you two fist-humping dreamers can wreck each other! It’ll save us all some frustration. Read the rest of this crap »
No, but how about some customer service. I mean is it really that hard to do what you do? Is it just so hard that there is no time to do things right, or to be polite? If I hear one more fast food fuck-nut talk about how much their job sucks I’m going to snap. Read the rest of this crap »
Holy shit! Where do I start on this one? With the horrible things people do to their cars in the name of customization, that’s where. Oh, they’re “custom” all right, if by “custom” you mean completely fucked because of all the crap you did to it. Read the rest of this crap »
I’ve lost track of how many times I see old people driving down the wrong side of the road. It’s always a Crown Victoria or some massively large almost “boat like” vehicle killing machine. Either that or a Mini-Van with a crap load of old people in it, usually carpooling to bingo night at the church. What’s better then one person who can’t drive behind the wheel? One person who can’t drive with 6 more, who can’t either, telling them how to.
Women! Oy ve’!!! Who are you all really trying to impress with your two closets full of high-dollar clothes, 62 pairs of uncomfortable shoes and designer labels, anyhow?? Is it men? Or is it really each other?? I believe it to be the latter. I mean, come on! The common, everyday straight man couldn’t tell the difference between a ridiculously priced Prada purse and the average Hefty bag. And you know what? Both of the aforementioned items can carry the same 30lbs of useless shit you haul around with you. Both are also made by the same slave-laboring kid in Pakistan for $.37 and a handful of grain a day that make all of your other high-end fashion shit. Yet some of you hammerheads will gleefully spend $400 on a pair of “strappy heels” because your peer group thinks it fashionable. That and you think new shoes will draw people’s attention off of your sagging ass by jacking it up. Read the rest of this crap »
Why is it that older women find the need to completely douse themselves with perfume? Perfume is supposed to be about the “scent of a women” not about assembling model airplanes. It’s not like we are trying to strip paint here ladies. If you’re trying to cover up the scent of moth balls or “I’m old as crap!” try using lotions or something a little more watered down. (How about drowning yourself?) At least while underwater, like a turd, people cant smell you as much. Read the rest of this crap »
Ok, out there! Who’s with me on this one? Is not the entire layout and concept of a typical “men’s room” the most ridiculously disgusting and degrading place on earth? It’s a two front attack on your senses and dignity. Here’s how: Read the rest of this crap »
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