What the fuck is so wrong with people that we have to have a happy-pill for every single little thing that could possibly or imaginably go wrong with you? Today’s pharmaceutically-fueled media has the majority of people so convinced there’s something wrong with them that it in itself is sickening.

When I say “possibly” go wrong, I’m referring to all those preventative medications available to treat shit you don’t have now, and probably aren’t at much more risk of contracting than a nun catching the clap after a Saturday night coke-bender. The list of side effects for most of these ‘preventative’ pills is longer than Wilt Chamberlain’s booty list. The side effects alone make me want whatever condition they’re treating over the treatment itself. It’s all like “Hey! Take this pill and you’ll never have high cholesterol!” They forget to mention that instead of high cholesterol, you’ll now have to take another pill to stop up that chronic and seemingly terminal explosive diarrhea. Oh yeah, that, and you’re now impotent. Good luck getting laid, there, Mr. Heart-Healthy.

When I say “imaginably” go wrong, I’m referring to those assholes who always think that there’s something’s wrong with them. You know the type. That lameass at the office, or worse, family member that cannot resist the urge to moan and groan about how fucking tired they are all the time. Or that they’re ’sick’; or their ‘head hurts’. Yeah!?! Well I’m sick and tired of your bitchin’ giving me a headache! I don’t rightfully care if you have a mind-melting migraine brewing. Good!! I hope your freakin’ head explodes in a violently wet and foamy cloud of brain-bits and skull fragments! Then we’d both feel better. Hell, I wouldn’t even mind cleaning up. You don’t need a happy pill. You need a kick in the ass. Go somewhere else to piss and whine about your self-induced, psychosomatic symptoms. I ain’t hearin’ it!

Unless you have been stricken with something truly terminal, there are a million ways to deal with your physical and psychological woes. A good first step would be to stop being such a candy-ass and man-the-fuck-up. This lazy world of self-indulged cry-babies always sucking other people’s attention with their desperate cries for help make me want to vomit, and then kick some asses. 99% of the conditions you either want a pill to correct or prevent are completely correctable and preventable with minimalistic efforts. Pills are not the answer. Get to the root of your perceived or would-be problems. Get off the pills, get on with your life, and get your sorry, whiny-baby ass out of mine.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 18th, 2007 at 4:40 am and is filed under STFU!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.