Well I just canceled my subscription to XM satellite radio. Not like I ever had issues with them, it’s just something I don’t use anymore. I told them it was because I didn’t have the money, although it was because Sirius is way better. I just didn’t want to get into an hour long discussion with some asshole on the other end of the line. Guess I was wrong.

Many of you have probably already read my post on “Automated Hell” and may already know my hatred for any automated phone system. XM has the one where it “understands” what you say. Heh…right. They pride themselves on being able to do everything on there website. Every two seconds on hold they tell you how you can to it all online. Of course everything except cancel your membership.

I go through all of the menus to see what place I need to go to cancel my membership with no such luck. I decide to go back to the “MAIN MENU!” … and say “Billing” except it hears me and asks,

“Did you say Representative?”

… eh fuck it. “Yes.”

After about 15 min of being on hold I get some bitch who can barely speak English. She asks me to verify my address, which was my previous address… yeh yeh… I am lazy and never changed it. So I give her the street address and she cuts me off and asks

“Is the phone number on the account 315-455-XXXX?”

“Yes.”

Ok sir, well I cannot cancel your membership but I can transfer you to someone who can.

(Sigh…WTF!) “Ok.”

“There may be a click just stay on the line.”

Well there was a little click… but now no crappy on hold music. Just silence. So I wait for about 10 min in the black hole of XM’s on hold madness before deciding to hang up and call back. I immediately just start saying “Representative.” … “Representative.” … like I have some sort of nervous tick. I get another woman who can barely speak English and tell her the story. She transfers me to some guy …who also can’t speak English. (Maybe a requirement to getting hired?) I tell him the story but it doesn’t matter we need to go through the verification process all over again. I give him all of the information and listen to him try to sell me XM at a “discounted rate”…yada yada… “are you sure?” … “how can we get you to stay?”

Listen mother fucker… I have been on hold for an hour, tossed around your phone system, and annoyed to no end by you and all of your minimum wage co-workers. I actually couldn’t understand the last 3 questions he asked me … I just said “No.” to all of them. Let’s hope my subscription was actually cancelled.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 11th, 2007 at 5:24 pm and is filed under Random Crap. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.