A wise man once said: “All relationships end badly… or they wouldn’t end. Unless, of course, one of you dies.” However, to me, dieing is also a “bad” ending.

Well, let me tell you, I have had my share of “bad” relationships. And besides being somewhat older and substantially more bitter, I actually have become a bit wiser. So may I please have the attention of the young and dumb out there. I’m about to let you in on my hard learned wisdom.

The golden Rule is:
If you don’t give what you want to receive, then you don’t deserve what you desire.
Too often people come into a relationship expecting to be swept off their feet and live happily ever after. Firstly, no one is always happy no matter what the circumstances. Secondly, don’t expect more than you are prepared to give. If you are not Mrs. Perfect then don’t expect Mr. Perfect.

Lead by example:
If you want to be treated a certain way, start by treating them, that way. For example, if you want your husband to buy you flowers and make romantic diners for you, then be prepared to do it for him. And do it for him, first. If you are not prepared to take the first step then why would you expect your partner to?

Don’t believe in fairytales:
There’s a reason all fairytales start with “once upon a time”. This is because they only existed in a time where commitment meant more than “until I’m tired of you and decide to look for the “real” Prince Valiant”. Truth is, nothing is better than you make it. Any relationship has the potential to be the greatest of your life or the worst. It all depends on how committed you are to making it work.

Expectations:
Don’t expect it all. If you expect everything will be wonderful all the time, how could you not be disappointed and feel shorted by your situation? Understanding this is the key, not only to relationships, but to life also. Nothing will ever be as good as it could be, unless you make it that way. Don’t just expect someone else to make your life happy.

Ignoring issues will not correct them:
When issues arise (and they will) don’t ignore them and wish they would get better. There is a saying that I’m particularly fond of that illustrates this point. It goes something like this: If you wish in one hand and shit in the other, at least you have something in one hand. Basically, wishing something would change is no better than doing nothing at all.

Communication:
Communications is essential in any successful relationship. If his dirty socks on the floor irk you, discuss why it bothers you and come to some sort of agreement as to how this will be handled in the future. If you don’t address the issue, don’t expect it to change.

Opposites may attract, but they don’t say together:
I know it’s been said many times that opposites attract, and they may, but don’t think your ever going to be truly happy with someone whom doesn’t share most of you views. If you feel really strongly about certain issues, a relationship with someone of the opposite opinion will only lead to conflict.

Choose wisely:
If you are having the same relationship issues regardless of whom you date, this is probably a sign that you are choosing to date the wrong “type” of person. The most common reason for this is that we often choose to date whom we are the ”most” attracted to, not whom would ”most” meet our needs. Its kinda like buying a car based on its looks alone. Should we really be surprised when it turns out to be an unreliable piece of shit? If your goal is a successful long term relationship, you need to consider much more than just how much you are physically attracted to someone. Moral is, if you find that every Ferrari you’ve owned broke down and left you and the kids standed, perhaps buy a Lamborghini next time.

If you don’t learn, you’ll repeat your mistakes:
If you find that your tendency is to do something that leads to bad relationships or causes good relationships to go bad, this is a good thing, since you are learning. The trick is to use this new found awareness and understanding of your fault and turn it into an asset. An example of this would be, once you understand that when you find someone ”super attractive” you end up getting used, you can begin to use this “super attraction” as a way to determine whom you shouldn’t date, at least not seriously anyhow. Try to see it for what it truly is, a warning sign of a future bad relationship. Perhaps dating someone who’s only “really attractive” is a better choice. The wise know, if you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.

The Perfect Mate:
There are no perfect mates. If you start out believing this, you are certainly going to fail. What is far more practical (and realistic) is to find someone whom is close to perfect and flexible enough to compromise when conflict arises. This is important because no matter who you are, if you spend enough time with someone they will get on your nerves from time to time.

You’ll never change anyone whom doesn’t want to change:
Don’t kid yourself and see someone as a “fixer-upper”. Unless that person is flexible and wants to change for their own reasons, no amount of effort on your part will turn “Mr Ok” into “Mr Perfect” just as no amount of effort will turn a Kia into a Mecedes. If you want a Mecedes, buy one. Or in other words, if you want to be treated in a certain way, date someone whom already treats you that way.

It can all go to shit despite your best efforts:
That’s all I got to say about that.

Hey, I know this may not be as “ranty” as it could be. So what! Never mind anyhow, since I expect that you will totally ignore what I have just written. Like most people, you will not learn until you lose what you love most. Dick!

Oh yeah, and if your not at least 25, don’t even think about marriage or kids. Retard!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 at 12:48 am and is filed under Random Crap. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.