Angelina Jolie just can’t help it. She feels the need to save every child in Africa… Asia… didn’t she just have a kid too? Dammit Angelina! You are totally ruining fantasies here! No one wants to deal with baggage. Not like I have, or ever will have a chance with you, but what the hell. Stop with the kids already.
She had me at hello. Actually it was the see through shirt in Hackers. I have been “following” Angelina Jolie’s ca-”rear” for a long time. One kid …ok (stop please?) …two kids… you’re pushing it. Once I start loosing track of how many kids you actually have, you’re through. This kid bull shit really pisses me off.
It’s time she gets bumped down on hottest chick on the planet list. Does anyone else have this list? I think if we’re counting the “hottest chick” … the list is pretty small. One chick small actually. Anyways. I have a few candidates that plan to take the place of Mrs. (WTF! That should remove you from the list automatically) Angelina Jolie…Pitt (Lucky son of a bitch). Whatever.
So the first candidate is Keira Knightley. Thats right, Ms. Rrrrrrrr (Yeh I went there) you going to be my lover? No, and you never will, but at least you don’t have kids! Not to mention that she is awfully “shwingalicious.”
Next is Jessica Alba. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you what movies she has ever been in. Does it matter though? Even if I set plans to go see her movie, actually paid for it, and watched the whole damn movie, by the end… I would have totally forgotten anything I just saw.
Last “butt” not least Jessica Biel. From a preacher’s daughter on the WB’s 7th Heaven (Yeh… I watched it. Isn’t she the reason we all did?) to this:
Yeh. Really.
It’s hard tough to say who should be “on top”. At this point I’m not sure it really matters. I’m leaning towards Keira but I just don’t know yet. I think I need some time to get over the fact that Angelina is a mother. (Dammit. Mothers piss me off! Sorry Mom.) At least with these choices there isn’t any baggage. So I don’t have to worry about kids busting in. Even in my fantasies.
I may have to write a rant about having too many fantasy choices…and only two hands to be fantastical with.
The Madness
September 3rd, 2007
I’m with ya on the Keira Knightley. Yummy!
Is it just me or does that glorified trailer tramp Angolina looking even more abused than ever? To me she’s just barely higher on the “hottest” list than Juliette Lewis would be.
For those of you who think she is the “Hottest”… have you all forgotten:
1. The marriage to Billy Bob Thornton? Ewe!
2. The vial of his blood she wore as a necklace Double Ewe!
3. She made out with her brother in public. Err what? Really?!
I mean all those are kinda hot in a skanky way. Skanks are just not my thing. Well, let me rephrase that. Chicks who look skanky are not my thing.
I love a chick who appreciates ass to mouth finishes as much as the next guy… but do they have to look like the trash they are?
Alba and Biel… hot? Really?
I would put them at slightly above average at best. (due mostly to the $$ they have)
I see many, many “normal” chicks everyday that deserve the “shock and awe” attack of HIGH g’s “moisture seeking meat missile” more than those 2.
Although I do live in the land of boob jobs, where the standards may be a bit high. Or perhaps yours are just a bit low. Humm.
It’s fantasy we’re talking here… aim higher!
We all know none of us here have a shot at them, but exclusivity does not make them hot. If that were the case than Mother Teresa would have made millions on swimsuit calendars!
HIGH g
September 6th, 2007